2018 was strange for many people and a lot of people close to me are ready to hit the refresh button. I always take time around the end of the year to think about how I’ve grown as a person and what I want to improve moving forward. Here are a few things I learned as a fresh entrepreneur, working with varieties of people, and simply being in my 30’s.
Get Over Yourself
When you run your own business, you find yourself constantly having internal battles. Am I wasting my time doing this? Will I ever succeed? Should I post this? What if the networking event is awkward? The list goes on and on, at least for me. One thing I’ve taught myself is it’s not about me. It’s about my end goal and what I’m trying to achieve in my life and for others. Don’t let fear and insecurity hold you back from pursuits. Also, you’re thinking about yourself more than others are thinking about you. Think about how many messages people see a day and how many people they are connected to thanks to social media. You’re just one of them. Overanalyzing how other people view you is such a waste of energy. This might sound contradictory coming from someone who helps people present themselves through fashion, but even when it comes to style it should be about what makes you feel like the best version of yourself, not stressing about dressing for others. Don’t sweat the small stuff and focus on the things that matter.
You Deserve It
Most of my clients are women (I also work with men and love doing so) and I often notice how much they justify the fact they are working with me to themselves, husbands, or others. Taking the time to invest in yourself makes you a better person and therefore positively impacts your relationship with yourself and the people in your life. I loved when my friend Soojin pointed out in her post about sustaining her personal style throughout motherhood that self care makes her a better mother. It’s so true and is applicable no matter what your situation. I believe that personal appearance is often overlooked as a factor impacting one’s self esteem and the way someone is feeling is attributed to many other things, however, there is power in looking and feeling your best so don’t be afraid to invest in that part of yourself. You deserve it. And, if you don’t believe me, watch an episode of Queer Eye. ;)
You Control Your Story
As cliche as this statement is in the self help world, it’s true. The past couple of years have been an emotional roller coaster for me and I can say I’ve honestly learned so much about myself. I’ve learned that mental battles are way harder to overcome than physical ailments and it can get very scary when you’re in such a negative state and feel like you have no hope or direction. These are all lies from the devil. You have two options in every situation and the way you perceive them. You can live in fear or faith, be grateful or thankless, take rejection as a challenge or let it defeat you, and compare yourself to others or let them motivate you. This list can go on. Is your glass half full or half empty? One of my favorite lines from Eat, Pray, Love is "you were given life; it is your duty to find something beautiful within life no matter how slight". The word duty is very powerful in that and I remind myself of this every time I’m throwing self pity party. I’ll always remember my father telling me about a time where he was having a really hard time in life and extremely unhappy. He approached a stop light and watched a guy with no legs cross the street in a wheelchair and at that moment he realized his life wasn’t so bad after all. Is yours? If you can learn how to count your blessings, I guarantee you’ll watch them grow. Control what you can and learn to let go of what you cannot.
Nothing is Permanent
Life is unpredictable and you have to understand that when it comes to the ups and downs. One moment that stuck with me is when I was in a really bad place and talking it out with my brother. He looked at me and said, “your situation isn’t permanent, nothing lasts forever.” That was my wheelchair moment and I realized I was wasting so much energy being miserable in a chapter I was in instead of treating it as something that was only going to lead me somewhere better. Now, that chapter feels so long ago and it definitely contributed to where and who I am today. I thank God everyday for the journey I’m on and the trail that lead me here. Of course, there are circumstances you want to be permeant like a healthy relationship or a great career, but I’m talking about those situations in life you really don’t understand at the time. Nothing is the end of your world unless you let it be.
I know this isn’t the typical blenderstyle post, but it means a lot to me to be able so share some of my reflections. Being an adult is hard and I work with a lot of different types of people that share their personal journeys with me and are open to enabling me to help impact one area of their life. While people may perceive my job to be a hobby of playing dress up, it actually helps people feel more confident and is an area of their life they can control and deserve to experience. Cheers to a great 2019!